*I typed this in the early summer of  ‘09 but did not publish then*

My now four and a half year old boy adores the neighbor girl that is a year his junior (BGF)
I scheduled a short hike/nature walk for the kids. All nature. No playground equipment. No promises of ice cream or Popsicles at the end. Just kids in nature following a slightly overgrown trail with kiddie binoculars and a dollar store bug box complete with plastic tweezers and a small net.
I thought we were having a grand old time. I thought that I was teaching them something about nature (what made that hole in the tree? What animal made that print in the ground?) Then BGF asked “Where are we going…?”
My boy replied “In a big circle, back to the car.”
His BGF then asked me directly “Where are we going?”‘
Essentially-The boy had really hit the nail on the head in answering her question, so I repeated after my boy- “In a big circle and back to the car. We’re almost there.”
*sigh*

We have funny American food names.
Say them out loud!
Go-Gurt!
Funions!
Cheese Whiz!
Spaghetti O’s.

The marketing is genius. You’re on the go, you’re fun, you’re smart, you’re in the loop.

Meanwhile:

To market to market to find real food
unsullied, unprocessed
the most pure is good

Walking into a  local indoor playground/cafe, I observed a boy that was quickly and methodically going up to each child and giving them a solid whack on the arm, face, leg…whatever part he could easily reach.  As I was paying our admission fee, several crying children were running off  to find the adults responsible for kissing their newly acquired boo-boo.

Slugger’s mommy figured out what was going on and, in a calm yet stern manner, she explained to her bundle of terror joy that “We don’t hit people. It’s not nice.  Now, I want you to sit down in this chair and eat this cupcake I got for you. ”

Wow. That’s one heck of a time out.

(Not to mention that the cupcake was as big as her kid’s head)

Uncle Brett (The Gay Uncle Extraordinaire)  over at BrettBerk.com touches on an important topic that all of us have strong memories of…RECESS TIME! Who did not love those words tumbling out of their teacher’s mouth? (I double dog dare you to say that you hated recess!)

I wholeheartedly agree that recess should be a part of the curriculum in school.  Although my child has not yet reached school age, I already know that he will not do well without having those necessary romps out on the playground several times a day. I know my kid is more focused on coloring or reading AFTER he gets a good dose of fresh air and activity. Exercise boosts blood flow to the brain!

We have reached a time where it isn’t safe to let your kids out the door without a parent/adult being with them. I would venture to say that most Mommies and Daddies are exhausted after putting in long hours at work. Those are  the  “fortunate” parents to be employed after half of their department got laid off in the past three months. Are they really letting their kids outside for free play? My guess is no. They are grabbing the martini shaker or doing 12 oz.  arm curls to blot out financial recession news. The only hikes the parents are taking are integrated with mortgage notices  and credit card debit finance charges. Never mind the bad report card that says their child can’t focus (on boring, rote curriculum) and needs to be on drugs.  Mom and Dad can’t take the day off to meet with the teacher OR a doctor. Either could lose their jobs if they try.

Oops, ranting. Back to the point.

When I was in elementary school (er..almost three decades ago), we had three recesses a day. Mid morning, lunch, and mid afternoon.  (Of course, this was in the day when teachers could still smoke on the play ground.  The greater the teacher’s nicotine habit, the more recesses…but three was the average)  Plus there was P.E. twice a week to learn organized games/sports.  Too rainy? Too cold? Open gym or auditorium with utility balls, gym mats, jump ropes…

To The Gay Uncle’s point, free play does allow for better learning. Fall off the slide- Lesson in Gravity. Monkey Bars- Lesson of Pendulums and Timing. Someone jumps off the opposite end of the teeter-totter- Lesson in Team Work and Anatomy. (Where is a broken coccyx?) Pill bugs in butter tubs without holes- Lessons in Nurturing, Natural Habitats, Recycling and …Death.

(Death brings it’s own avalanche of lessons. Mostly, in the pill bug scenario, it was being a good friend. I’m-There-For-You-That’s-A-Bummer-Let’s-Go-Find-Some-More-For-You-Before-Teacher-Blows-The-Whistle”)

But, all of these important self discovered lessons are learned throughout free play and recess with your best buddies already there. No text messages. No web-based, personal information profiles necessary. You get to play with your buddy whose last name on the alphabetical seating chart is no where close to you.

Let’s be advocates for recess and free play. We don’t need to hear more about a  recess-shun.  Let’s go play! Thanks G.U. for the reminder that we all need some fun!

————————————-

Note to Claudine- Thanks for always sharing more than half of the Suzy-Q. Sorry about the pill bugs.

Note to Tracy- When we were in 4th grade and your dad was at the store, I think the candied fruit we ate was really brandied fruit.  I had a bad headache when my mom picked me up, and slept awhile after I got home.

Note to Chris- Barbie and Ken can fit in the same purple Trans Am, but not in the same sleeping bag.

Note to the rest of the urchins from my block- Tag! You’re it!

Geakz and I took our little man to the movie theater for the first time several weeks ago to go see the Pixar flick Wall-E.  The little man loved it! And so did I.

Basically, the plot is about a retail chain store (Buy N Large) that is here to “save” us after they facilitate the destruction of our planet (promoting hyper-consumerism and the inevitable waste that goes with it.) The Buy N Large corporation shuttles humans off of the planet, ensconcing them in leisure and sloth, while the Wall-E robots are left to clean up the mess.

Fast forward 700+ years. Only one robot is still functional. The lone, and lonely, Wall-E still has a lot of work to do before humans can return from space. The Earth is still cluttered with so much bargain priced, low quality,  over-packaged, disposable crap (purchased at Buy N Large, of course!) that only a single plant is able to grow. Wow. The movie is one heck of a wake up call disguised in the cloak of family entertainment.

Shortly after seeing the movie, I was ELATED that I saw no Wall-E merchandise in any store. I was happy to think several major corporations (that would stand to make a mountain of money out of licensing and merchandising) opted to reinforce the message of the movie. Essentially, helping us limit our consuming by not producing. A rare and beautiful thing.

So, I was greatly disappointed when I saw Wall-E merchandise in a local store. So much for sense before cents. Sigh. Pixar tackled an important topic, but missed it’s OWN POINT when they licensed Wall-E merchandise available for purchase at my closest “Buy N Large”.

Personally, our family tries to limit our consuming. We buy mostly things that we need. We recycle. We compost.  We “green” clean. We buy/sell at resale shops. We are reducing our intake of food additives, preservatives and pesticides.  We’re trying to do the right things for the planet, but struggle with it too.

Our three year old would love a Wall-E something to join his small legion of Lighting McQueens and Thomas the Tank Engines.  I believe the movie has an important message that Pixar presented quite well,  but it would be hypocritical to buy him a Wall-E shirt (with a free plastic hanger!) for the quite reasonable price of $5.99.

How do you teach a three year old to understand hypocrisy? Maybe that will be the next Pixar release.

(Now, I’m left to  wonder, what Wall-E noodle soup might taste like….a bit bitter perhaps?)

When I was a kid, we had a miniature dachshund. He had a proper German name, but we rarely called him by it. He was mostly called by my mother’s vexation of “Oh, that ‘Turkey Dog’. (This was long before turkey hot dogs became popular.)

Turkey Dog liked to burrow under blankets and towels. He also loved to lay on warm air vents from the furnace. After five minutes of absorbing heat meant for an entire room, Turkey Dog was the equivalent of an old fashioned hot water bottle. Shortly before bedtime, I would stick him at the foot of the bed to warm it up. Presto! No more cold toes!

Heating costs are going to jump astronomically this winter, so I’m left to wonder if it would be more economical and “green” to turn down the thermostat and:

Plan “A”-Get a wiener dog.

Plan “B”- Have Geakz run a fever most of the winter, like he was last week. (I’d be a good wife and alternate running a fever when he needs a break, but he generates more heat since he’s bigger than me.)

Plan “C”- Put up plastic on the windows. Add extra insulation. Caulk. Try to order cutesy, country craft “draft blockers” out of an outdated Lillian Vernon catalog.

I’m voting Plan A.

Are you doing anything differently this year to keep down your heating costs?

I’m sure that you have heard that blueberries are a “Super Food”. They contain many beneficial antioxidants. I was reminded of this fact when two pints of big, fat blueberries arrived into our household nearly two weeks ago. I love blueberries, but haven’t touched them thinking that the purchaser was craving some antioxidants. I have sadly watched them lose their super powers- growing weak and shriveled.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but, doesn’t the human body have to ingest foods to reap the nutritional benefits? Are they a Super-Duper Super Food that transfers its magical qualities onto the closest fatty substance residing in the refrigerator with it? (i.e. the butter that you are going to fry your steak in)

In my completely unscientific and undocumented observations, the only things in the fridge that can transfer their powers to other foods and then onto humans are mold, rot, and e.coli.

Could someone please enlighten me? Did I miss the latest ground breaking discovery? The last food breakthrough I heard about was watermelon will help men to, er… wield a mighty sword, so to speak.

Geakz has been trying to get me to blog for well over…umm…three years now. He’s set up numerous blogs for me that I have just let turn to internet “web reserves”, similar to nature reserves. Looks pretty, but no one is there. I have had the same regard for my blogs as I have for camping. Leave no trace.

I’ve known for fourteen+ years that today is Geakz birthday. It’s been the same day every year for the past 46 years. And, this year, I have neglected to do anything about it. I have done no shopping. No sly party planning. No special dinner preparations or reservations. And I feel pretty bad about it. It rivals the feelings that I had when I pulled our car into the garage this spring forgetting that Geakz bike was on the roof rack. (For the sake of brevity, the garage and the car we still have. But the bike, bike rack and luggage rack to the car are twisted and shattered bits of history.) Yes, I fell that bad.

So, today, on Geakz special day, I  broke my “leave no trace” rule in the world of blog-dom. Just for him.

Maybe, in the future, I’ll make a permanent camp of my blog. Dig into a well spring of knowledge or plant some seeds for thoughts to grow.  Or I may let the internet tumbleweeds go blowing through my abandoned, desolate site once again, awaiting some form of technological reclamation that I know nothing about.

But, for today, I’ll set up my lawn chair in the internet world and enjoy the scenery while celebrating my husband’s birthday.

Happy Birthday, sweetheart. This blog post is for you.